Blondes Have More Fun?
by The Nadcromancer
Summary: Ueki, Sano and Mori discuss this topic, though, often straying from the original question. First fic and mild and deliberate OOCness for humour reasons.


This idea sort of just popped into my head one night. I'm sure many of you have watched Dexter's Laboratory probably at least once in your whole childhood. In one episode, Dee-Dee tells Dexter that blondes have more fun. If you want to find out what happens after that, watch the episode, I'm not telling. So, I figured "What would the Law of Ueki gang say about this theory?" And the outcome was this story.

I don't own the Law of Ueki. Enjoy, or at least try to.

* * *

**Blondes Have More Fun?**

Ueki treaded casually down the lane, hands in his pockets. His legs aching after walking a mile, he neared a bench and sat down. Next to him was an odd-looking guy in a kimono, his face covered with a newspaper.

"Hello, stranger," Ueki greeted.

"Hi, Ueki," the guy replied.

"Sano?!" Ueki choked out in astonishment. "But.... how.... I didn't know it was...."

"Did I change that much since we last met?" Sano muttered, with a huge hint of sarcasm in his tone.

Ueki shrugged, and continued to sit quietly, leaving Sano to do his reading. Three minutes and twenty-two point four seconds later, he snatched the paper from his companion's hand. "What'cha readin'?"

"Just an article about a theory that blondes have more fun," murmured Sano, trying in vain to snatch it back.

"Interesting...." Ueki said, keeping well away from Sano, pushing him back with his right hand and holding the paper with the other.

Sano gave it up. "They say scientists have studied it, though, it's just a theory, and they're not quite sure if it's true."

"Do YOU think blondes have more fun, then?" Ueki inquired.

"No clue," Sano mumbled.

"Why don't we take a look at some blondes we know?"

As the two boys were pondering, Mori suddenly came skipping down the lane like a six-year-old kid. She halted in front of them. "Hi!" she squeaked.

"Ah, got one!" Sano snapped his fingers, enthusiastically. "Robert Haydn!"

"Well...." Ueki scratched his head. "He laughs when humans are in pain so.... I suppose he has fun."

"But he laughs because he's _insane_, not happy," Sano protested.

"True, true.... But, maybe being insane is fun. Is it?" Ueki questioned.

"How should I know? I'm not insane!" Sano cried. "Hey, Mori, is being insane fun?"

"Well, it is sometimes, but then it gets too – HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!"

"What about Margarette?" Ueki suggested.

"I guess he has fun," Sano said. "Playing Protector Clan and all...."

"Hahahahaha!" Mori laughed for absolutely no reason. "Good one, Sano!"

"Marilyn?"

"DON'T EVER MENTION HER NAME! EVER!" Mori abruptly roared at Ueki. The heavenly being was confused. "Why not? There's nothing wrong with it. I think it sounds cool."

Mori suddenly burst into tears. "He complimented her name!" She pulled Sano's towel loose and blew her nose with it.

"Um.... okay?" Ueki was more puzzled than ever.

"You don't want to know," Sano grumbled, pulling his wet towel from her hands. He headed towards a water fountain, conveniently placed nearby, to wash it.

"So, what was the question again?" Ueki asked, trying to ignore Mori who was still sobbing uncontrollably.

"Do blondes have more fun?" Sano returned his towel to its original position – around his head.

"Oh, yeah.... Would Hideyoshi be considered blonde?" Ueki wondered.

"Even if he was blonde, I don't think he has much fun with all those annoying kids." Sano snickered.

"Good point," Ueki agreed. "So, what was the question again?"

"Geez, Ueki, do you have short-term memory loss or something?" muttered Sano.

"Short-term memory loss...." Mori whispered. "How romantic...."

Ueki looked at Mori awkwardly. "Mori, are you okay?" he asked. "You seem.... seem...."

"Insane," Sano mumbled.

Strangely enough, Mori had momentarily gained super-sharp hearing, and managed to interpret what Sano had tried to state ever so quietly. And of course, you know what happened after that.

"Sano, you okay down there?" Ueki poked his wounded body, lying helplessly in front of the bench.

Poke, poke, poke, poke....

Meanwhile, Mori had strutted away from the ugly scene, head up high.

Poke, poke, poke, poke....

"It.... hrrts.... STTPPP ITTTT!" Sano tried to scream at Ueki, which wasn't very successful as he was laying face-down. "Ehhkee.... hllpp mmmm!"

"Say, Sano, what was the question again?"

"MMMMMMMM!" If Sano weren't on the ground, having had a million blows being pounded into him, and writhing in pain and agony, all the said descriptions would apply to Ueki.

An hour later, Sano regained his energy, stood up immediately and cried, "I'M GONNA GET HER FOR WHAT SHE DID TO ME OR MY NAME ISN'T CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!"

"It isn't," Ueki said, slightly amused.

"Oh," Sano murmured. "What was the question again?"

"I think it was.... are we Japanese?"

"Oh.... Hey, wait a second, of course we're Japanese!"

"Oh, yeah," Ueki nodded, slowly, as it all came back to him. "How could I forget?"

"Either (a) you're stupid or (b) this author doesn't make us use simple Japanese phrases like 'konnichiwa' or 'arigatou' in her stories. Anyway, I think the original question was do blondes have more fun?"

"Yeah, I just remembered, Inumaru is sort of blonde too right? Does he have fun?" Ueki wondered.

"I'll bet that he didn't have fun while he was in hell," Sano said, thoughtfully. "But, he's probably having a blast now that he's a god."

* * *

Meanwhile, Inumaru was lying on the floor behind his desk, un-moving and looking as if he might go crazy anytime soon.

"Too – much – PAPERWORK...."

* * *

"Yeah, I envy that guy," Ueki said. "So, anymore blondes?"

"I don't think so. Besides, this discussion seems pretty meaningless now anyway." Sano muttered.

"You're probably right. Well, see you." Ueki sprinted off.

Sano sat down on the bench again, picking up his paper and reading it. Sometime later, he felt another person approach the bench and sit down next to him.

"Hello, stranger," a feminine voice greeted him.

"Hi, Rinko," Sano replied.

This was going to be one hell of a day.

* * *

Poor Sano. The guy just wants to read a newspaper in peace and they just won't leave him alone.

Ah, whatever, I don't own the Law of Ueki nor do I own Pirates of the Caribbean.


End file.
